Slow Living: Things to let go of
I’m going to start this little post by saying that these are obviously the things that worked for us and that everyone is different so if this message doesn’t resonate with you then that’s okay. It doesn’t mean that slow living won’t work for you (I truly believe that it will), it just means your slow living path is different from ours.
The biggest shift for me was to stop seeing my job or workload as a defining factor that dictates whether or not I am successful. If you see it as a job and one to do well and be proud of then that is a great thing, but I would argue that you will be much happier if it isn’t the thing that you judge your self-worth against.
Learn to embrace the unknown.
You don’t need to plan absolutely everything and every day (this is one that Summer in particular struggles with). This one has taken me a lot of work over the years but it really is worth it. Some of our favourite memories were made on beach trips or woodland picnics that weren’t planned. In our experience, just going with the flow and the feelings of you and your family leads to happiness.
Enjoy the journey.
Don’t just focus on the destination you are trying to reach. Instead, focus on being happy and content with what you have, and if you aren’t, look at how you can become happy with what you have while working towards your goal(s). You can be eager for more and still work towards your ‘big’ goal but being happy in the present is key to slowing down and creating memories.
Stop saying Yes.
If it doesn’t bring you, or your children/family happiness, say no. You don’t have to do everything you are invited to. Set boundaries. Honestly, it’ll be the best change you make this year!
Stop comparing yourself to others.
As Theodore Roosevelt aptly said; “comparison is the thief of joy” – I really do believe this to be true. Having said that I am aware that it is much, much easier to say than to do. What I do when I find myself comparing to others, whether it’s their home, clothes or what they do in their free time, I look inwards as to why I’m jealous and try to see if there is any way I can make self-improvements.
If others spend more time outdoors with their children and I am sad we don’t I will look at how we spend our time and ask myself, do I want to prioritise outdoor time over other activities? Or if I’m looking at someone’s new clothes, do I want to prioritise our money on that or actually, while their clothes are lovely, do I already have enough? By really looking at the feelings comparisons bring up we can truly start to understand ourselves and what we prioritise and value.
Focus your energy inwards
Stop obsessing over what people think of you and what you are doing. The reality is most people are so focused on themselves and their lives that they probably don’t wonder much about others. Just do what makes you happy and leave others to focus on their path.
Stop judging other people’s choices
(I find this embarrassingly hard and have to work on it every.single.day!). The chances are you don’t know the full story, or haven’t lived with what they are living with. Stop judging others (good or bad) and just accept that people are all different, we do things differently and most people are good people!
Cut yourself some slack
Finally, give yourself some grace and realise that you can’t do it all. You can’t do all the hobbies, all the organising, all the cleaning, all the paperwork, all the everything – it’s not sustainable. There aren’t enough hours in the day for one! Prioritise what makes you and your family happy and drop the rest.
All of these things took time for me to make a part of our daily lives and most still take practice. We go through seasons where I feel frazzled and like I have to say yes to everything but being gentle with myself and going back to setting boundaries (even if it sometimes involves letting others down) is key for our family’s happiness and it also helps prevent burnout.
We hope that some of these tips are useful to you on your own slow living journey and if you have any tips of your own then please do share them in the comments sections.
Livvy and Summer
