Minimalism with Children
When speaking to people about minimalism we find quite a few responses crop up fairly regularly, “I don’t think I could limit myself to only X number of clothes”, “I don’t want an empty house” and “But I have kids, it isn’t possible” to name a few. We have discussed the first two elements in previous blog posts which you can find here and wanted to share our thoughts on minimalism with children because yes, it can be challenging, but it is most certainly possible and hugely beneficial to the whole family.
Why we apply minimalism to our children
When I was pregnant with my firstborn I was already on my minimalism path and just before she was born I read this article that shows too many toys can lead to addictive behaviours (rather alarming I know) and it also showed that when they have lots of toys they struggle to manage their emotions. Instead, they go from toy to toy looking for distractions rather than dealing with the emotions as it arises.
Further research shows that fewer toys and a simplified environment leads to happier children (it also touches on how children with fewer toys tend to also have more confidence as well as better social skills). This is something I have definitely found with our children. They play together happily, for longer and more creatively the fewer toys there are. I know the idea of happier children with fewer toys can sound mad but I promise you that once you see this, it makes it much easier to stick to your principles.
Though, it is worth noting you may struggle not to buy lots of new toys and that’s normal (I think) as society and the media are telling us they need ‘stuff’ to make them happy. Don’t forget toy companies spend billions to make you feel like your child needs their product. Hopefully, once you streamline their toys and other items and see the benefits, it will become apparent that you have made the right decision and the benefits will be enough to stop you from undoing your work.
What we apply minimalism to
We have chosen to do this with all toys and clothes for our children and it has really helped de-stress them (and me) and makes it much easier for them to see the options and choose what they want to wear or play with without getting stressed or overwhelmed. It’s also really helped me as now I don’t have to cram clothes into draws or pick up hundreds of tiny toys.
We also minimalise planned activities. We don’t do any classes (except my oldest now has two mornings at nursery) and we rarely go out for organised play dates to soft play and things like that. We play at home, outside in the garden, go for walks by the seas or in the woods, bike rides (toddler trailers are amazing!) or play in the park.
When you see other parents setting up those amazing sensory bins on Instagram don’t panic, remember that your children are experiencing this too through the mud, grass, water, rocks, etc. that they are playing with outside. And open-ended toys like blocks and Duplo/Lego provide STEM activities. They aren’t all prepackaged and sold to you like that but every time they play with them it’s a STEM activity and also massively engages their imaginations.
What do you want to keep?
We started minimalising our children’s things by saying ‘shall we do a little experiment and put some of these toys in boxes and see if you still ask to play with them’ and I noticed that the same toys were always left at the bottom of the toy chest, so these were the ones I boxed up first. I think it’s important to not just get rid of your children’s things without talking to them about it first. I think if they suddenly decide they want a toy you’ve gotten rid of it will greatly upset them to know that you took something of theirs without discussing it with them and disposed of it in some way.
We have explained to our children that when we no longer want something or use something we give it to charity for another boy or girl to use. By boxing things up and storing them for a bit in a set place you have the chance to see if they will be missed and then get rid of them without greatly upsetting your children.
Remember that there will be something that your children love and won’t budge an inch on. My little girl wants to keep all of her teddies, and she does play with most of them on rotation. For my little boy, it’s his cars and again, they are the things he loves and plays with most (as well as his Mickey teddy). This is fine by me. Everyone has something that they love and collect or have a lot of (for me it’s craft stuff, I still have a bit too much, to be honest!). I don’t want to upset my children with this lifestyle choice, we moved in this direction to simplify our lives and make us happier, so I work with the children to sort through things.
But how do you not end up keeping everything? The key is in how you ask. If you start with the question “What do you want to get rid of?”, in my experience you end up with panicked children clinging onto everything they own and refusing to get rid of anything.
Instead, I ask “What do you want to keep, who’s your favourite?” and this helps them sort out the top-ranked things. Then you gently suggest putting the rest into a temporary box to see if they get played with and to see if clean up is a bit easier with fewer toys. In my experience, you’ll need to give back 10-20% of the boxed up items BUT this method involves everyone making the decision. And over time, by repeating this every 3-4 months and limiting what comes into your home you will see big improvements – not just in the amount of ‘stuff’ but also in how your children play individually and together.
Watch what comes in
As I touched upon, one of the key concepts to children’s minimalism is to stop the flow of objects entering your home. You’ve put the hard work in of going through and streamlining what you own, so you don’t want to undo it all by letting other objects float in and take their place. This is harder than it sounds. Birthdays, Christmas, family visits… toys just seem to be flying in from everywhere and this doesn’t take into account the ones you cave in and get due to the amazing million dollar advertising that says your child NEEDS it.
A few tips I have for stopping the flow are:
- Tell friends and family how you feel and also give them other options. Books are a go-to for us, so if people want a quick or fairly cheap idea this is always our suggestion (we specifically ask for nature-based stories).
- Keep a list throughout the year so that you can ask for money towards certain things. For example, Christmas just gone they got lots of books but also a bike, a scooter and they both got rollerblades. So not many toys to store inside but lots of outside toys to keep us all healthy, active and playing in nature.
I hope this article has encouraged you to apply minimalism to your whole family as well as provided a few tips and ideas on how to start. It can feel daunting at first but you will see the benefits quickly – especially the tidying up time!
Please share any tips from your journey to family minimalism in the comments below, we’d love to hear them.
Livvy and Summer
