Making our home welcoming to my partner’s children
Dating someone who has children isn’t unusual these days, but as your relationship progresses and you become more involved in each other’s lives it can bring new experiences, challenges and memories for all involved. I am not a parent myself and am still discovering my parenting style which adds to the learning curve; these littles have been parented in a particular way for their entire lives (and one I have not been privy to) so there are bound to be a few lessons to be learned.
Luckily for me, my partner’s children are both wonderful, funny girls who feel comfortable around me and in our home. I was incredibly nervous the first time they came to visit, initially just for a Sunday, but soon realised that as long as they had their daddy – and food! – then the rest didn’t really matter.
That said, there are a few things we have done in order to make our home feel welcoming to them ahead of their first overnight stay and also a few ideas we have for the future as well.
Their bedrooms
Will’s daughters will have a bedroom each when they stay with us and we have tried to personalise them and make them feel homely. I ordered pyjamas, dressing gowns and slippers for each of them on the vinted app and we’ve added a few personal touches by way of blankets, teddies and toys that Will already owned.
Hygiene
We opted to get the girls toothbrushes, age-appropriate toothpaste and a hairbrush to share so that we do not have to worry about these things at the changeovers. I am also keeping an eye out for some second-hand bath toys for his youngest, who is five and loves a fun-filled bath.
Books & Games
Will already had a number of books for the girls which he brought with him when he moved in and we have bought a few games in charity shops over the past month or so (pop up pirate, monkey business and kerplunk!). We have a footstall with hidden storage and we keep all of these in there, along with the girl’s colouring-in books and pens, and they know that everything in the stool can be used and played with by them.
We also have all the Harry Potter books and Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events on our bookcase should his eldest wish to start a new book. I loved both of these series when I was younger and am hopeful that it is something we can bond over.
Get them involved
We try to involve the girls as much as possible, whether it’s choosing what sandwiches they would like for lunch, tidying up after an afternoon of games or filling up the bird feed in the garden – this has quickly become our youngest team member’s job and she adores going outside with her daddy and filling up the feeder, and will happily watch the bird’s come to feed and show us all excitedly. It’s wonderful to watch and by making it a job they do together she feels included.
Sand timer
Will’s youngest has additional learning needs and as a way to try and support her we picked up this beautiful sand timer from Unboxed Kent. It is a 5-minute timer and we are hoping that the visual aspect of it will help her understand when an activity is coming to end, ready to move onto something different, as gauging time is quite tricky for her.
Planning ahead
Whilst we want the girls to have a lovely time with us we don’t have the money to do expensive things every time they are here so we are always planning ahead, making note of any potential activities we can do and which weekends they may fall on, and as a general guide for ourselves, a rough guestimation of the price attached.
So far we have apple picking, visiting a pumpkin patch, blackberry picking, conker collecting, birthday celebrations for his eldest, visiting the wonderful The Retreat Animal Rescue Sanctuary and decorating the Christmas tree to name a few.
Do any of you have a partner’s child or children staying with you in your home? What sort of things do you do to make them feel welcome? Please do comment below, it’s very much a learning curve for me still and seeing what other people do can be so insightful.
Summer and Livvy
